liz_marcs (liz_marcs) wrote,
liz_marcs
liz_marcs

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Things I Learned on Day 1 of the Masschusetts Tax-Holiday Weekend...

Chubby chicks do not swim.
No. Really. They don't. Just ask any sales person who looks at you like you've got two heads when you ask them if they've got bathing suits that would fit something larger than your big toe.


Chubby chicks do not take swim classes, either.
Sales people will stand around and stare at you like you're the last unicorn on earth when they see you choosing swim caps and swim goggles for purchase.


Chubby chicks do not kayak, let alone do cold-water kayaking.
This is according to all sportswear stores who look at you like you've got three heads when you ask for the wetsuits and then show you that they come in sizes no larger than a size 10. At least the dwarf working at Sports Authority shared my pain. He had to have his wetsuit for cold-water kayaking specially made. Then he gave me the buck-up little toaster speech. I totally wanted to hug him for that.


Chubby chicks don't engage in aerobic sports.
The good news is that I'm just thin enough to fit in the larger cuts of the exercise gear. Said exercise gear is made of the exact same material as a bathing suit. Guess what I'll be wearing to swimming lessons.


Chubby chicks don't lift weights or do push-ups, hence their backs should be in constant pain due to the size of their bewbs.
In getting properly fitted for new bras, a very helpful, very friendly Nordstrom sales girl mentioned that her Size D self gets a lot of backaches because of her bewbage. I blankly stared at her and said that I've never had backaches because of my fabulous breasts. She looks at my chesty, larger cup size self in disbelief. I point out that the only way to avoid that crap is to strengthen your upper back. I've been known to hit the weights and I'm starting the 100 push-up program. She looked at me like I was from Mars. Or possibly Pluto. She obviously didn't believe that: 1) I don't get backaches, or 2) I do any exercise at all.


Chubby chicks will spend money where people have clothes that fit them.
Unlike all of the above points I just listed, at least this much is true. I just spent an insane amount of money on three new bras from Nordstrom because the bras fit, are comfortable, and reveal to all and sundry that I actually have an hour-glass figure. Tomorrow, I will be plunking down $100 for a wetsuit at my kayaking place because they actually have wetsuits in my size.


And people wonder why I hate shopping in stores.
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