I'm now drinking a glass of Writer's Block IRONICALLY LIKE A FUCKING HIPSTER DOUCHE and sniffing my wrists, which, due to the application of a few precious drops of Guerlain Djedi, smell like sex armpits. WHICH I WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT IS ACTUALLY A GOOD THING.
Actually, my status as FUCKING HIPSTER DOUCHE was probably sealed the first time I asked the barperson if they could find out which hops were used on a particular beer so I could make up my mind if I wanted to try it.
So I guess I'll own that one.
YULETIDE COMPLETE. DOGE NOT USED FOR SUMMARY.
THOUGH IT WAS A DAMN NEAR THING.
I'm mostly happy with what I wrote, though may still write the giftee a treat.
This post has been postponed until tomorrow, due to it being 10pm and Settiai is still trying to get everything taken care of so that she can get a few hours of sleep before starting her wonderful ~15 hour drive to Tennessee tomorrow.
There will be a post! Just... not now. Because I'm exhausted and still have things to get done before I can sleep.
This entry has been crossposted to Dreamwidth, and it currently has replies there. Comment on whichever site you prefer.
Okay, so Wednesday I did not start the day on the right foot. Dad made a snide comment about wishing that he could stay home all day and be lazy, which prompted me to have a meltdown and kick in a kitchen cabinet. Mom, not knowing about the kitchen cabinet but definitely knowing that I had just screamed "Fuck You" decided to tell me that I had no reason to be pitching a fit and to stop, because they had to go to work. (I took this mean that I had no right to be angry because they were supporting me, which I found particularlly upsetting because I was attempting to help with foodstamps.)
The meltdown continued for about and hour with some very ugly highlights involving expressing my sincere regret that my last suicide attempt did not take. (Yes, I am very aware this was an ugly and fucked up thing to say. Youngest Sister undoubtedly told them everything I said.) After calming down a little bit I was able to reach my therapist and we both decided I needed to be out of the house. I returned to Community Bridges (specifically, the one in Avondale) where I got the following services:
1. Group therapy.
2. Intake exams
3. Re-evaluation on my Seriously Mentally Ill status.
4. A prescription.
I had some very intense misgivings about returning home, but my options were few and far between because I am not even a little financially solvent despite my efforts, and I'm not on AHCCCS. (In order to get into a halfway house you need to be making money.) When I got home I attempted to ask Dad to fill a prescription for me, which he did not want to do because he'd already paided for a prescription for Youngest Sister. He did take the prescription, but I do not know if he will actually attempt to fill it.
Because I was still tired I took a nap. When I got up, mom was home. She decided to tell me that I needed to get with my caseworker and find a new place to live. (Spoiler: I do not actually have a caseworker because I am still not judged SMI nor do I have AHCCCS yet. I got re-evaluated, but that's going to take a while.) I got back on the phone with Community Bridges, who said it was too late for them to come pick me back up. They gave me a bunch of numbers for halfway houses but I am either getting answering machines or people telling me that they are rehab places.
***Cross-posted from Dreamwidth***
President Barack Obama holds a press conference in the James S. Press Briefing Room of the White House, Dec. 20, 2013. (Official White House Photo by Lawrence Jackson)
(Official White House Photo by Lawrence Jackson)
This afternoon, President Obama held his last press conference of the year from the White House briefing room. Before taking questions from the media, he discussed our economic progress over the last year, and laid out the work ahead for 2014.
In 2013, our businesses created another 2 million jobs, adding up to more than 8 million in just over the past 45 months. This morning, we learned that over the summer, our economy grew at its strongest pace in nearly two years. The unemployment rate has steadily fallen to its lowest point in five years. Our tax code is fairer, and our fiscal situation is firmer, with deficits that are now less than half of what they were when I took office. For the first time in nearly two decades, we now produce more oil here at home than we buy from the rest of the world, and our all-of-the-above strategy for new American energy means lower energy costs.
The Affordable Care Act has helped keep health care costs growing at their slowest rate in 50 years, and even as the Administration works diligently to address issues with HealthCare.gov, more than one million Americans have selected new health insurance plans through the federal and state marketplaces since October 1. "More than half a million Americans have enrolled through healthcare.gov in the first three weeks of December alone," President Obama said.
"And you add that all up and what it means is we head into next year with an economy that’s stronger than it was when we started the year," he said. "More Americans are finding work and experiencing the pride of a paycheck. Our businesses are positioned for new growth and new jobs."
"I firmly believe that 2014 can be a breakthrough year for America," President Obama said, offering some proof that the new year is already off to a good start: this week, for the first time in several years, both parties in both houses of Congress came together to pass a budget. And there are other areas where we can work together, he said, beginning with restoring the temporary unemployment insurance that helps people make ends meet when they are looking for a job.
"Because Congress didn’t act, more than one million of their constituents will lose a vital economic lifeline at Christmastime, leaving a lot of job-seekers without any source of income at all," he said. "I know a bipartisan group is working on a three-month extension of this insurance. They should pass it, and I’ll sign it right away."
Reinforcing President Obama’s strong message encouraging South Sudan’s leaders to choose peace, today National Security Advisor Susan Rice recorded an audio message for the people of South Sudan. In it she reinforces the importance that South Sudan not allow the new country it fought so hard for to be torn apart by violence and suffering. She again calls on Sudan’s leaders to renounce violence, end the fighting, and commit to peaceful dialogue, and reiterates the United States’ support for a peaceful, democratic, unified South Sudan.
Listen to the message below, or download as an mp3.
Hello. This is Susan Rice, National Security Advisor to President Barack Obama. Today, I want to speak directly to you—the people of South Sudan.
For the better part of 20 years, I’ve had the privilege of working alongside you as you sought your independence and built a new nation. When the war was at its height, I visited with people across your country—in Marial Bai and Rumbek and Lui. You told me about how the conflict was affecting your lives and your families. And, when I was the U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations, I was honored to share your stories with the world and to support your struggle for independence.
Then, two years ago, on July 9th, 2011, I was so proud to speak to you on behalf of President Obama and the American people when finally you celebrated your hard-won independence. I remember so clearly the overwhelming joy and the spirit of unity that day—how you came together as one people to begin building a new nation, founded on your shared democratic values.
But the violence we’re seeing now is a grave threat to your young nation. Continued fighting—and the specter of ethnic violence—could tear apart the nation you so painstakingly knit together. We know all too well what horrors can occur when irresponsible provocateurs pit tribe against tribe and brother against brother.
We’ve seen the devastation in Bosnia, Rwanda and so close to home in Darfur. As a longstanding friend of the people of South Sudan, I urge everyone to step back from conflict and instead address your differences through peaceful dialogue.
In recent years, you’ve overcome incredible odds and shown the world that you can break the cycle of violence; that through careful and constant work, you can give birth to a new nation that respects the rights of all its peoples. That’s what you, the South Sudanese people, died for and then so peacefully voted for: an independent, peaceful and unified nation with a better future. And that’s the promise that young people and religious leaders and community elders across South Sudan are calling for their leaders to live up to now.
The United States joins these calls for peace. We urge leaders on all sides to publicly renounce violence, end the fighting, and commit to peaceful dialogue. Ethnic violence must cease immediately. Those who have committed acts of violence against civilians must be held accountable. And those who seek to achieve their goals at the barrel of a gun must understand that international legitimacy and support cannot be gained through conflict.
For all those who choose the path of peace and democracy, know that the United States will continue to stand with you, as we have at every step of your journey. But, I must also be clear: if a different choice is made, if individuals or groups seek to take or hold power through force, mass violence, or intimidation, the United States will have no choice but to withdraw our traditional, robust support. Killing will only lead to deprivation and isolation for the people of South Sudan.
I know how much you have already endured and how far you have come, but please remember: democracy is always hard work. Reconciliation always takes time. You have to keep working at it each and every day through dialogue and compromise. And the choices you make today will determine the future of your country. You can choose whether your children will live in a nation of peace and growing prosperity or one scarred by resumed conflict. As someone who has always stood with you to imagine a better future for you and your families, I ask each of you to make the choice for peace—make the choice for a unified and cohesive South Sudan. Make this choice for yourselves and your children. Thank you.
asks: "What is the One True Vid (or more, if you want) of your heart that you don't think you'll ever make?"
If there's a vid I don't think I'll ever
make, then I've probably let it go and it wasn't meant to be. There's a vid that I would love to make, but I'm really terrified about it being taken the wrong way.
It's a Lawrence of Arabia
vid that centers on Lawrence's "What You People Need is a Honky" arrogance. I want to explore how his attempts to keep the Arabian people "pure" from British influence was itself an attempt to foist foreign cultural values (in the form of Lawrence's "noble savage" ideal) to a people who already their own culture and values, thank you.
I have a couple songs in mind -- one in particular really works for me -- but I'm really timid about approaching it because I could end up being the white male privileged asshole myself. It's definitely a Vividcon-level vid in my head, but if I don't execute this sucker perfectly, it's going to blow up in my face. I just don't have the confidence to approach it.
Just noticed this while looking for something else, and even though I'm retired I'm very tempted to get one just to play with it.
It's a tiny low power consumption multi-sensor bluetooth device that is supported by various apps including a free datalogger program for ipads and iphones - for £20.60 + VAT. Think it's $25 in the USA.
The sensors are accelerometer, magnetometer, gyroscope, barometer, hygrometer, and infra-red thermometer.http://uk.farnell.com/jsp/displayProduct.jsp?sku=2334329&action=view&CMP=GRHS-1001023
The datalogger for ipads and iphones is called SensorTag and available through the app store.
This looks amazing, has anyone tried it yet?
later - forgot to say that this is supported by a lot of tools for writing your own apps etc.
Alternatively, the Red Sox (or New England sports fandom in general if you don't want to talk BoSox) -- December 19, in honor of Manny Ramirez signing with the Red Sox.
I don't watch the Red Sox. I don't watch baseball. There you have it, my horrible sports fandom secret. There are just too many games! I don't have the patience or spoons for that.
I also don't watch the Celtics. Or basketball. I keep telling myself I should start again because I like basketball. I played it when I was young. But I just don't. I don't know why. I think I resent the games being on weeknights and interrupting my normal TV viewing. (Which is why I avoid Thursday night football unless it's my guys.)
Now that I've made my confessions, here's the thing about New England sports fandom: it doesn't exist. Not the way the media and the fans of other teams want it to. Of course there are some assholes. There are some assholes who are fans of every team in every sport. But it's always the asshole fans of the *winning* teams who get turned into the representative of all the fans because those are the ones who have reason to talk. (Let's face it, the asshole Giants fans are pretty quiet this season, right? That doesn't mean they don't exist, it means they have nothing to say.)
This is a first attempt at an editable PDF Forgotten Futures character record form. I'm probably going to tidy it and pretty it up a little more, but I'd be grateful if people could give it a try now and see if anything seems to be dodgy about it, if you can make it do weird things, etc.http://www.forgottenfutures.com/game/blank_record.pdf
The characteristics boxes are drop down menus, as are the weapon "Multiple?" fields (apart from Fist and Kick). Everything else is a text field.
You'll probably need to download it and open it in e.g. Adobe Reader - Firefox displays it but doesn't let you edit it, not sure about other browsers and readers.
later - forgot to make the spaces for the effect of fist and kick editable. I'll sort that, but for now please try this as it is.
Just opened the door from the house to the garage to throw some stuff in the recycle bins and a bin slid and fell over. I put my foot on the wooden steps going down into the garage and BANG, fell on my bum, bruising it and scraping my left wrist slightly and taking the skin off my left elbow :;whimpers::
Wet wooden steps are slippery. Who knew?
I had the weirdest experience today. For a brief second, I got to see me through someone else's eyes.
(And yes, it's as vertigo-inducing and disconcerting as you'd expect.)
I was talking to co-worker about past jobs/experiences and somewhere in the middle of the conversation she just starts staring at me.
This immediately has me wondering if I've got spinach in my teeth.
Then she says to me, "How on earth did someone like you end up here
Keep in mind, I still work at the Jolly Green Giant, which means everyone (and I do mean everyone
) has more industry experience and formal science education than I do.
So I can feel myself tensing, getting ready to defend my right to actually have the job I do.
Then she follows up, "I mean, you've lead this really amazing life up to now, so I don't get it."
I...yeah. I'm not sure how to respond to that.
Because I don't think it's been all that amazing. Chaotic
, yes. Bordering on poverty for half my adult working life, definitely. Longs stretches of boredom in between periods of driving myself crazy, absolutely.
Not to mention that I still don't feel like an adult, despite the fact that I am (age-wise, anyway) adult-like.
I've never been called amazing in my entire life
So I think I'm going to tuck this compliment away and on those days I feel really, really bad about myself I'm going to take it out and look at it again.
That's one hell of a holiday season present, that is...This entry was originally posted at http://liz-marcs.dreamwidth.org/438614.html and has comments. Please comment there using OpenID.
- Thu, 13:59: So, an openly-conservative Christian espouses a Biblical view of ALL sex, and people are surprised, shocked, and offended. #growupyoubabies
- Thu, 19:43: Hey, @JoesCrabShackTX, that new Southern Stuffed Shrimp dish? It's a KEEPER. #omnomnom
- Thu, 20:13: I might have something to hang my hat on for an Alex story for my JaNo project. Noodling ideas over food w/Hubby kicked something loose.
- Thu, 22:33: "… and that's when Megan made me learn emergency first aid for a sucking chest wound." #nocontextforyou
I have things to do that I have been putting off. the boys are coming tomorrow, so... yeah. really need to get on top of things!
I have to plan meals for when the boys are here!
I have to plan the xmas meal!
I have to make a food list!
I have to go to the grocery store!
I have to wrap presents!
I have to vacuum!
I have to stop freaking out so much!
(also, a shower. ew, I stink)the post at dreamwidth | comments | comment there
For Day Twenty
asked, "What makes you fangirl something vs. just love it?"
I had two possible interpretations of this question and I'm not sure which one is called for, so I'll take a stab at both.
1. "What makes you decide to be joyfully vocal and enthusiastic about something versus just quietly enjoying it?"
Mostly just, "Be in the mood to be joyfully vocal and enthusiastic about something." Consciously or unconsciously, if I'm in this mood, I'll fixate on something that I find uncomplicatedly enjoyable and easy to share. The ideal sort of thing is a music video or picspam or short video clip. "This dude is really attractive! This lady dresses very impressively! This artist can really draw! This song is amazing!" These days I'm most likely to have these bouts of enthusiasm about music and I share hoping that maybe someone else will listen to the song and we can quote lyrics at each other or go to a show together -- or they just comment and say, "Cool!" -- but mostly I just want space to enthuse and it's pretty easy to do so.
2. "What makes you decide to get involved in fannish activity for something rather than just appreciating it and moving on?"
This is a little bit more complicated question, but it's actually simpler to answer. "I have something to say about it." (I want to know what other people have to say about it TOO, but this is more of a side effect; I'm not naturally a lurker). This can overlap with 1. -- squeeing about how great something is, or at least how great an aspect of it is, may be a big part. But a lot of times I want to talk about something because it's flawed or weird or nonsensical or incomplete in some way. Like, I wouldn't say I'm a Twilight
fangirl but I'm fannish about it, because it lends itself to some great/ hilarious conversations. I wouldn't have gotten through those books (or A Song of Ice and Fire
or Teen Wolf
or my Once Upon a Time
rewatch) without the chance to get on Twitter and WTF??? about them a lot.
It occurs to me now that there needs to be a combination of 1. and 2. for me to take the extra step of making fanworks about something. Fullmetal Alchemist
is probably the last thing that I wanted to have intensive conversations about, and there was more enthusiasm than "WTF?" in the conversations I wanted to have. (Though definitely some WTF? mixed in). That's also the most recent fandom that I wrote in with any devotion and consistency. Before that, well, this is basically the very definition of navigating superhero comics fandom. 'I love this deeply and I'll need to have hours and hours of conversation about it with other people before it remotely begins to make sense.'
This entry was originally posted at http://likeadeuce.dreamwidth.org/203032.html
. Comment here or there, I'm easy.
Please stop harassing me about the new pairing feature. This is like the third time you've PM'd me or sent me a useless review telling me to change my stories over to fit this feature.
I have 200+ stories, and it's the holiday season plus I work two jobs. I don't have time to go through my 5+ year old stories to appease your sense of entitlement. It's not like I've ever got a legit favorite or review from you personally, so I don't even know why you're invested in directing me in what I need to do with my stories.
PS. I really suggest you take up knitting or volunteering at an animal shelter. Something more worthwhile besides bossing people around on an internet site.
Ha! I'm feeling triumphant after having got email working again without too many hassles. I use Thunderbird and the process is complicated slightly in a number of ways:
- I have a number of accounts with different servers and I want them all to share a common Inbox. Unfortunately this setting is buried quite deeply in the settings and I couldn't remember where it was. This time I've taken screenshots of all the settings!
- My virus scanner (AVG) threw a conniption because my main mail server is encrypted, which meant that it couldn't scan the in or outgoing mail. I had to set up a redirection so that the mail went through a virtual server via AVG. Fortunately the instructions on how to do this were fairly clear on AVGs site.
- I had all my previous emails all backed up so, after I'd set up the account I had to transfer over the old mail and address book. I'm a bit OCD about keeping old mail - other than trivial stuff that gets deleted, I have kept virtually every email I've sent or received for the past 10 years organised and stored in folders. It means that I can almost always find emails that I've sent to someone, which has saved my bacon a couple of times in business dealings. It also helps when I can easily find receipts and installation details for all the software I've bought. But it's a LOT of emails! :-)
Anyway. Done now and working perfectly. Unlike iTunes, which is still not sorting correctly. No joy researching on Google so far.
Forgot to say I got a DVD writer for £10.70 including postage, it arrived yesterday and works well in the copier. That takes the total cost to £53.00 - £5.30 refund + £10.70 = £58.40, so I've spent £5.40 more than initially planned, but the new drive is dual layer (the others aren't) which might at some point be useful. Still the best price I've seen by far for a 1-4 copier, so I'm pretty happy.
A Merry Zombie(free) Christmas
, Spike/Buffy by shapinglight
. Spike : Mall Santa
, Spike/Willow by velvetwhip
.Shock to the System
(the Eyes Without a Face Remix)
, Spike/Dawn by aadler
. Sunshine Girl
, Buffy by evil_little_dog
. Phoenix Weeping(Perish the Thought Remix)
, Xander by sroni
.Droopy Dog Will Save You
, Xander/Jesse/Willow by dragonyphoenix
. Fuzzies Flying Around My Brain
, NC-17 Giles/Xander by skuzzbopper
. Chances Are
, BtVS/True Blood crossover by angelus2hot
. Chapter Sixty Two
of How to Treat Your Lover
lists all her comics based tales
. Noel 2013 Spike banner here
. Meeting James Marsters, a video
Are any of you guys iTunes experts? I have a huge number of audiobooks on iTunes that I listen to while driving to/from work. I've just installed iTunes on the new computer and dumped all the books into it but they're not sorting correctly.
Now, before you jump in and tell me about the difference between "Title" and "Sort Title" etc, I'm very familiar with the Info screen. All the books are fully tagged so that, on my old computer, they sorted by author then by series (via the SortAlbum tag). See image right.
However on my new computer they aren't sorting that way. See here
for a screen capture that I won't impose on you unless you want to see it.
I can't even figure out what the new sort order is let alone how to get it back to the way it was. It's not sorting by title, since some of the series are in the right order despite titles being not alpha order. Nor is it sorting by author, since the books are completely jumbled by author. Changing to the list view or category view and sorting there, then changing back has no effect.
If it's relevant, I'm using iTunes version 10.6.3. I installed version 11 (which I hate) to see if it made a difference but it didn't so I reverted again. Oh, and lest it looks like I'm on a Mac because of the window frame, I'm not - it's just the theme I'm using. It's Windows 8 (sob).
Title: How to Treat Your Lover (Book 4)
By Tami (tabrandt @ hotmail.com)
Disclaimer: The characters from ATS / BTVS are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox studios. This story is not meant to infringe upon anyone's rights, only to entertain.
BETA: Myself, Morgan
Pairing – M/M, Angelus/Spike, Angel/Spike
Timeline – ATS Season 4/BTVS Season 7-AU
Summary - With both Angel and Cordelia still missing, Fred and Gunn try to keep Angel Investigations running while they search for their friends. Ironically, the man everyone believes betrayed Angel is the one who finally comes to Angel's rescue. Then, as suddenly as she had vanished, Cordelia inexplicably reappears with no recollection of her life or her friends. Unbeknownst to the team, things aren’t always what they appear. Even as Cordelia regains her memory, she harbors a secret that will change their lives forever. Finally, Spike returns from his sojourn abroad with his gift to Angel that leaves him mentally unstable. Meanwhile, in Sunnydale, Dawn starts her sophomore year at the new Sunnydale High School with a mysterious new principal that may shake things up. Oh, and there's an apocalypse a'comin' on two fronts.
Feedback – It would be appreciated. My plot bunny has been lagging lately.
Author's Note - This story came to me after watching how Buffy treated Spike in SMASHED - AS YOU WERE (BTVS, Season 6). I wondered how Angel would truly feel, if he really knew how Buffy mistreated Spike. Yes, Spike is the Big Bad, and he and Angel normally don't see eye-to-eye, but they are family nonetheless
Word Count: 7,918 overallHow to Treat Your Lover Soundtrack
(Feel free to suggest a song/scene)
( Book 1
( Book 2
( Book 3
( Previous Chapters for Book 4
**************************( Chapter 62: Step 4 – Reconciliation (Part 12)Collapse )
Fragment from an untitled Giles/Buffy story with a lot of Spike in it.
"Why did I leave her with you lot?"
"You thought she was dead," Spike said, pleasantly enough. He struck a match. The end of his cigarette glowed red. He blew out a stream of smoke. "She was dead."
Giles reached out a hand and Spike passed over the pack. Marlboros. American cigarettes. He tapped one out and handed it back. He struck a match on the side of his shoe. He did not often smoke these days. Only on special occasions, for very special kinds of shock. Inhale, out through his nose. A little bit of a buzz already. Spike was watching him closely over the glow of his own.
"The witch says she was in a hell dimension," he said.
Giles jabbed his cigarette at Spike, who danced back warily. "Slayers don't go to hell."
"Don't suppose they do."
"Why the bloody blazes did Willow think she was in hell?"
"You're assuming she isn't lying through her teeth. Wouldn't put it past her to be inventing excuses."
"Fuck," said Giles. Something butted against his shin: the cat, tail up, rubbing against him. In agreement again, he supposed. He peered down at the animal. It seemed friendly enough. "Hello, moggy," he said. "I wonder where you come from."
"Its name is Patches," Spike said.
"It bloody well is not."
"Answers to it." Spike dug around in one of his coat pockets and pulled something out. "Hey, Patches. Here you go." He tossed whatever it was at the ground before the cat. It moved, squeaked. It was a rat, no a deer mouse, white belly, furred tail, little round ears. It reared up and chittered at the cat, but it was in vain. The cat seized it and bit at the back of its neck. It carried off the corpse to the base of the tree, just out of the lamplight, and began eating.
"That was utterly gruesome," Giles said.
"Takes a predator to understand."
"At the moment."
- Tags:drafts, fiction
- Music:Photosynthesis : Marco Madia : Music For Plants [DTR023]
Yes, this would be why I have been failing at talkymeat...
Also, I changed the title from [redacted] to [redacted] due to a tonal shift.
Which means I can start talking about [redacted] the first in the context it would originally have been in (outside of my story), only now that I've mentioned it, I can't.