liz_marcs (liz_marcs) wrote,

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Happy *Holidays,* damn it!

Scene: Our Heroine is buying her X-tra Large Dunkin' Donuts Hazelnut Decaf at her local crack joint Dunkin' Donuts. There is one woman behind her who is in her 40s. There's a cute little thing behind the counter in her 20s sporting a nifty Russian accent.

Our Heroine (OH): [accepting coffee] Thank you, thank you, thank you. It's *brrrrrr* out there.

Cute Little Russian Server (CLRS): Yes. It is the time of year.

OH: [hands over money] I hope you've got a good holiday planned.

CLRS: [smiles wide] Yes, it's going to be much fun. You have good holiday, too!

Woman Behind Me (WBM): It's Christmas!

OH: [mumbling under my breath] ...And Hanukkah and Kwanza and Yule...

WBM: Jesus is the reason for the season.

CLRS: [runs and hides]

OH: [throws big tip in tip jar because she feels embarassed] Mithras. Mithras is the reason for the season.

WBM: What?!?

OH: [really doesn't know when to shut up] Christians were in competition with the cult of Mithras and adopted his holy day for the feast day for Jesus' birth. So, really, Mithras is the reason for the season. Not Jesus. Sorry.

WBM: We celebrate Christmas.

OH: ...And Hanukkah and Kwanza and Yule...lot of religious and ethnic people have always picked this time of year to party because the days are so dark and cold, so, ummm, not just Christmas. Everyone's gotta a party around this time.

WBM: [broken record now] We celebrate Christmas.

OH: You celebrate Christmas. Other people? Not necessarily.

WBM: I'm not going to argue with you.

Our Heroine thinks: But I didn't even start it!

Fucking O'Reilly and his damn War on Christmas bullshit. If I end up working at Borders before Christmas, I just know I'm going to get shit from a customer for saying "Happy Holidays."

Well, I get shit from at least one customer every year for saying "Happy Holidays," but duuuuuude. Unless you're carrying a sign saying "I celebrate Christmas," I'm not going to assume anything. Hello? Retail? Deal with a lot of people from all walks of life? Hello?

This is the first time that another customer decided to "set me straight." *headdesk* Did it never occur to this twink that maybe I might be Jewish? Or Pagan? Or what about that Cute Little Russian Girl behind the counter? She could've been Jewish. Or Pagan. Instead, Warrior Woman behind me hopped all over my ass because she thought I was pissing on her religion. I wasn't even talking to her.

I mean, what the hell is wrong with "Happy Holidays?" I like Happy Holidays. It doubles my chances of getting invited to some cool parties by people who don't celebrate Christmas. "Happy Holidays" makes me feel warm and fuzzy because, to me, it includes my B-day, Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Year's, Mom's B-day, and Martin Luther King Day. It's a whole season wrapped up by two little words and everyone gets to join in on the fun.

Plus, for heaven's sake, I live in an area with a significant Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, and Pagan population. I can't assume that anyone I talk to is, in fact, a Christian, because I've got a really good shot at being wrong.

If I ever see O'Reilly or any of his Fox scaremongers on the street, I will kick their ass for this bullshit. With everything else that's going wrong in this country, they're beating the war drums over something as inane as how people refer to the last week in December.

I think we've got more important crap to deal with than trying to bully every single person and business in the good ol' U.S. of A. into calling December 25 "Christmas." Don't you?

So, on that note, Happy Holidays, damn it!

*pant pant pant*

Thank you. I needed to get that off my chest.

ETA: Nifty new Holiday icon by hernewshoes.

Another ETA: Jon Stewart has some choice words for Bill O'Reilly about this "War on Christmas" idiocy, especially since Bill O'Reilly decided to name Jon Stewart (who doesn't even celebrate Christmas) one of the "enemies of Christmas" and used a 6-second clip from The Daily Show that aired December 2004 to "prove" it.

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