I dare anyone to tell me that this game is okay in any universe.
A shoot-em-up computer game in which true, blue "Christians" run around a post-rapture New York City.
The mission? To convert — or failing that, to kill — Catholics; Jews; Muslims; Buddhists; moderate, mainline Protestant Christians; gays; and anyone who advocates the separation of church and state. Anyone who resists you as you conduct "physical and spiritual warfare" needs to be "taken out" with "extreme prejudice."
Yeah, well. Fuck you, too.
I know, not exactly a witty retort, but Jesus...
Although I admit that it's kind of awesome that at long last The Left Behind crowd has come clean about what they really, really want.
Look, I don't fricken care about violence in video games. It's up to you as a parent to decide whether junior can play Grand Theft Auto, but I'm not about to campaign to rip it off the shelves because you can't say no to your kid and end up buying a game that's clearly marked for adults.
However, I have a big, fucking, problem when a "good Christian group" decides to pull the dripping hate The Left Behind book series has for anyone that doesn't adhere to some narrow version of "Christianity" and puts it in an interactive videogame in all its ugly glory.
I take it really fucking seriously when that same game is marketed to 13-year-old "Christian" knuckleheads in an effort to train them to be "serial killers for Christ" when they grow up.
And don't tell me not to take it really fucking personally when the computer avatars targeted for conversion or killing represent real-life me.
Here's the summation of this crack-addled game coming out in October:
This game immerses children in present-day New York City — 500 square blocks, stretching from Wall Street to Chinatown, Greenwich Village, the United Nations headquarters, and Harlem. The game rewards children for how effectively they role play the killing of those who resist becoming a born again Christian.
"But is there no one innocent in this game?" I hear you asking.
Yes, indeedy. They're called "collateral damage" if you kill them. But don't worry. You can be forgiven for the cold-blooded murder of innocents by following these stimple steps:
If you happen to blow away a neutral party — and collateral damage is inevitable in the End of Days — then you will lose "Spirit Points". But you can power back up with merely a brief timeout for prayer, or by converting one of New York's terror-stricken citizens.
I have no words. Really. None.
There is, however, at least one good thing in this game:
The game also offers players the opportunity to switch sides and fight for the army of the AntiChrist, releasing cloven-hoofed demons who feast on conservative Christians and their panicked proselytes (who taste a lot like Christian).
I have a sneaking suspicion there might be a small group of people buying this piece of trash for that reason alone.
To read the ugly, Talk2Action has the gory details.
For an antidote to The Left Behind poison, check out Fred Clark at The Slacktivist as he tears apart the series based on his own liberal, evangelical Christian beliefs. His commentary is funny as all hell, yo.
ETA: Additional links to the game via christianleft: Worthplaying has screenshots; Warcry gives the technical aspects of the game itself a good review, but notes some things that are disturbing about the game's storyline
Time to Clense Your Mind with a Moment of Beautiful Writing
Me love Kung Fu Monkey. Me now worship Kung Fu Monkey for this Memorial Day blogpost called Lions Led By Donkeys:
The problem is, these yahoos have managed an ugly trick. They have turned criticism of the policies of Bastards in Suits into criticism of The People in Uniform Getting Shot At. This, of course, is completely wrong, as one can easily tell the difference between the Bastards in Suits and The People in Uniform Getting Shot At. One group is in Suits, and Not Getting Shot At, while another is in Uniform, and Getting Shot At. Please, try to grasp this. Not the same.
There is a flip side. Some people confuse supporting the Bastards in Suits for supporting The People in Uniform Getting Shot At. This is, again, ridiculous. If the history of modern warfare has taught us anything, it's that the Bastards in Suits spend an awful lot of time working the kinks out of plans involving The People in Uniform dying unpleasantly. They often screw that up. When they do screw up, it is incumbent upon Bastards in Suits to suffer criticism and fix the situation, as by comparison The People in Uniform are suffering shattered skulls, missing limbs and death. Which is, on my scale, exponentially more traumatic than criticism.
Some people even seem confused on how we are criticizing the Bastards in Suits. The Bastards have a job to do. They are not doing it. Period. Tommy Franks recently trotted out the classic bit of misdirection, attacking critics of Donald Rumsfeld."I don't care about your politics. I don't. Don Rumsfeld is an American patriot."
Yes, well, that's lovely. But we're not criticizing his patriotism. We're criticizing his job performance. One of the great mysteries of the last six years was how and when the Bush Administration turned public policy into Special Olympics. "Oh, I know Donny knocked over all the hurdles, but HE LOVES THE RACE, so you SHUT YOUR FILTHY, CYNICAL MOUTH." Jesus H. Christ.
You must read the whole thing...