But I have to post this. I really, really have to.
A pump-action "water" gun called the Super Soaker Oozinator.
However, it does not drench your hapless targets with water.
It does spatter them with a sticky white stuff, which is some sort of biodegradeable soap.
I laughed so hard when I saw the commercial that I'm pretty sure that I hurt something.
(stolen from August J. Pollack at Xoverboard)