It's strange to think that I started the spring in a job where I was sort of miserable (while firmly telling myself I was not
miserable because I was lucky I had a job) and struggling to make ends meet because between the wage freezes and other related cutbacks from Former Employer my income had been steadily shrinking...
...To getting laid off and being relieved
...To somewhat re-evaluating what I wanted for myself...
...To getting I job at a company I've been trying to get into for 10 years
(there were three tries involved) and it's everything I that I could've possibly hoped for.
I have the kind of pay now where I can budget down to the dollar instead of the penny, I'm not juggling my utility bills, and I can actually buy new clothes because I need them and not because my old clothes fell apart after years of use.
That's a huuuuuuge relief.
I may be able to dig myself out of my mountains of debt within two or three years if I remain smart about my budgeting. That debt? Not helped by my almost-three-month stint in unemployment. Not because I was living off credit cards. I wasn't. It's because looking for a job is expensive as all hell, and I put all of that
on a credit card.
(I added up my total job-hunting costs today and...dear God! I spent more than $1,800 on my job search, and that doesn't include tolls and mileage. Holy HELL!)
On the upside, it landed me a job with a payraise significant enough that I actually called HR to make sure they entered all my information in properly because that number on my check had to
Best of all, I'll be able stow money in my savings account at a faster rate so I'll have ready cash if a major emergency happens and I won't have to resort to credit cards to dig me out.
I'm kind of pinching myself right now.
My current happy circumstances comes down to 75% luck and being in the right place at the right time with the right skills. I damn well know that. If my luck had been a little less, or if my timing had been just slightly off, and if I hadn't kicked ass during my contract tryout, I would've been deep in the suck right now.
Yeah, I didn't get to go kayaking this year as much as I wanted to, because ZOMG! Getting used to my new schedule is painful! But I'm slowly coming around to it and I've actually managed to get out a little bit more.
I feel like...I dunno. Like I owe someone, somewhere, something. (I am paying it back, or trying to.)
Best of all, I got my fic-writing mojo back.
Weirdly enough, I hadn't realized that I had spent the last two years in a vague state of mild depression and constant exhaustion. I can see it now because my fic-writing output dropped to absolute nil. Plus my tendency to start things and then just completely lose the fucking thread because I couldn't concentrate more than five minutes at a time.
Today, I actually opened one of WiPs (Facing the Heart in Darkness
, if you're curious) and I actually wrote
over some of the old stuff I couldn't get to work.
My God! I may actually finish it!
*makes jazz hands*
I can't believe how much my life has changed in the space of a mere 4 months, and for the better. So much so that I've been in a vague state of denial about it.
Holy hell! I can write again!