liz_marcs (liz_marcs) wrote,

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Talk Dirty to Me: Top 5 OTPs Ever

Just so you know? I'm doing this on a dare.

See, I was talking to a friend I met through fandom waaaaaaaay back in the day when there was no WWW and we only had Usenet to keep the fanwank flying and we got on the subject of shippers and shipping and our general frustration that sometimes that kind of thing gets in the way.

Then, just as we were about to break our own arms patting our own backs, we realized that, unh, we're not exactly innocent here.

So we got to talking about OTPs, or rather, our OTPs.

Then she dared me to come clean. In public. In front of all my present-day fandom buddies. There may have been some bribery of chocolate involved. I'm not sure. By the time we reached the triple-dog-dare level, I knew I was beat.

So here, with pictures, are my Top 5 OTPs (Ever!) from television.

No snickering, please.

Tom Paris and B'Elanna Torres, Star Trek: Voyager

Best Quotes:
Course Oblivion
Doctor (about Tom and B'Elanna getting married): I never thought I'd see the day.
Seven: Given the volatile nature of their relationship, one might have predicted homicide rather than matrimony.

Someone to Watch Over Me
Torres (reading Seven's PADD): 'Stardate 52648. 0300 hours. Intimate relations resume—' How the hell do you know when we're having intimate relations?
Seven: There is no one on Deck 9 Section 12 who doesn't know when you're having intimate relations.

There have been a few times where I've hung on to a show for the sake of one or two characters. Star Trek: Voyager did indeed sucketh the big weenie more often than not, but I tuned in every week to watch two characters: Tom Paris and B'Elanna Torres. Not for OTP reasons. In fact, I watched from the beginning because I liked them separately as characters. I never — not in a million, zillion, bajillion years — thought they'd wind up as the OTP in both fanon and canon for this show.

What's ironic is that, at least in the beginning, the Voyager folks were trying to set up B'Elanna/Kim and Tom/Kes as the OTPs. Both pairings had all the charm of wilted lettuce and dragged my fave characters down, so I was glad when both attempted OTPs quickly got a bullet in the head. Kim continued on his wet-noddled, bad acting way. Kes stuck with Neelix and then buggered off the ship.

The whole B'Elanna and Tom thing relatively came out of nowhere, to be honest. They were friendly (but not particularly close friends), mostly because they had friends in common. Then along comes S3's 'Blood Fever' and WHAM! There wasn't just sparkage, there was sparkling sparkage, complete with snark, hot sexy kissing, and a very real sense of "Oh, fuck! What are we doing?" exhilaration.

What makes this OTP of mine truly unique in all my OTPs is that the writers played the soulmate card for this one and it actually worked. Voyager, for once, managed to do something subtle (I know, I know, it's enough to make you pass out in shock). These two had to work hard at what they had, but when the chips were down and Voyager did the traditional "memory wipe" episode that every single genre television show on the planet eventually does, Tom and B'Elanna still managed to find each other and fall in love, despite the fact that B'Elanna thought she was an unmarried pregnant woman and Tom thought he was a down-on-his-luck bartender.

I don't have to tell you that when S3's 'Blood Fever' hit the airwaves, you could hear my squee all the way to Japan. Then when Voyager bit the bullet and let them get married — a happy, lasting, functional marriage — that still managed to be interesting all the way to the still my little heart.

Yes, Virginia, it is possible to get your OTP (even if you aren't looking for it) and get exactly what you want.

Archie MacDonald and Lexie MacDonald, Monarch of the Glen

Best Quotes:
Series 2, Episode 6
Archie Now. No more talk about you leaving Glenbogle, okay? You are wanted here.
Lexie: What for? You're a better cook than I am.
Archie For your...Lexieness.

Series 3, Episode 9
Lexie: This is no fairytale, Arch. We don’t get a happy ending
Archie: There are all kinds of excuses for letting happiness slip through your fingers. Let’s not do that. Let’s take our chance.

Ooooo, look! Another OTP that came true! Sadly, I had to go with a cast photo for this one since all my Google skills failed to find me a decent Lexie/Archie only photo (the happy couple are in the center). This one is another unique one for me. It's a straight-up Cinderella story. Archie has been forced to give up his promising career as a London restaurateur so he can rescue his family's bankrupt estate of Glenbogle. Lexie is the workin' class gal who does battle with the castle's ancient kitchen on a regular basis.

However (and you're going to see a theme here), Lexie and Archie were never meant to be the OTP of Monarch in the Glen. That was supposed to be Katrina (Archie's childhood friend and firebrand fighting for the working class) and Archie. Lexie was just meant to be the complication. The problem was, the "complication" which started in 'Series 1, Episode 7' pretty much blew the planned OTP out of the water chemistry-wise. When the actress playing Katrina the obligingly left for good at the start of Season 3, the way was set.

Of course, they had to overcome cold feet, serious communication issues, and more than a little class snobbery on both their parts to actually get to the altar, but got there they did. And they lived happily ever after. So there. (No, I did not see beyond Season 4. La-la-la-la! I can't heeeeeeaaaaarrrrrr you.)

Xander Harris and Faith Lehane, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Best Lines
Faith: Guy like that, with that kind of glove, could kill a whole mess of people.
Xander: Said the same thing to Buffy myself. Weird how she didn't seem to care.
Faith: Buffy knew he was alive. I can't believe her.
Xander: She says he's clean.
Faith: Yeah, well, I say we can't afford to find out. I say I deal with this problem right now. I say I slay.
Xander: Can I come?

The Zeppo
Faith: Don't worry. I'll steer you around the curves.
Xander: Did I mention that I'm having a very strange night?

Empty Places
Amanda: Do you think there are gonna be questions about her [Anya’s] sex life on the test? 'Cause I really hope I don't have to study all that.
Faith: Whenever she starts talking about getting all sweaty with Xander like that I just remind her I had him first. Shuts her right the hell up.

To be honest? I was sold on this one with Xander's "Can I come?" in 'Revelations' and not a second before. Sure, this OTP is was a single hot-and-sweaty one night stand, but I still have a serious love of my quixotic OTP that never was. Hell, I even wrote a huge ship manifesto about it.

What's ironic is that before I started writing fanfic, I would've looked at you like you were nuts if you told me that this would be the closest to an OTP that I'd ever get for Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Now? I adore it in the only way that someone who's got a truly fanon-only OTP can.

And yes, koos73, even though I still don't plan to by the comics, the little panel you pointed me to of Xander in the first issue gave me just a little bit of a squee, even if I know that it probably doesn't mean a damn thing.

For those of you who are curious, this comic panel:

Karl "Helo" Agathon and Sharon "Athena" Agathon, Battlestar Galactica (New Series)

Him: A Dudley Do-Right with more heart than brains who looks like he should be wearing a Canadian Mountie uniform.

Her: A toaster.

Talk about your high hurdles!

Like all my other OTPs, this one totally snuck up on me and hit me over the head while I wasn't looking. If you told me that Caprica!Boomer and Helo would become the couple for me back when she was playing him on Cylon-occupied Caprica, I would've thought you were nuts. And yet, here we are.

Helo and Athena — or Karl and Sharon if you prefer — have a lot in common with my fave OTP of Tom and B'Elanna. They're in it for the long haul, they have a good relationship, and their marriage is about as far from boring as you can get. I can't just pick one quote for these two. I love them. I love all of it. You can have your Quadrangle from Hell (although I admit that I'm rooting for Kara and Sam). You can have your Chief and Cally (someone must like that one, I figure). You can dream dirty dreams about Gaeta and Baltar. I'll just enjoy Karl and Sharon for all their worth and for as long as it lasts.


Starbuck and Cassiopea, Battlestar Galactica (Original Series)

Best Quotes
War Of the Gods, Part 1
Starbuck (looking at a heart rate read out): What are you talking about? That heart rate is dancing like a daggit on a sunspot.
Cassiopea: Oh. That's my heart rate. This one is his.
Starbuck: A flat line. Well, you really got to him.

The Man with Nine Lives
Starbuck (shoving a medical scanner away from him): This isn't going to hurt, is it?
Cassiopea: My hero.

Ooooooh, the tragedy! I should feel shame for flashing on my cheesy childhood love for the original series, but I adored these two as a couple. She's an ex-socialator (read: prostitute) turned nurse (thanks to the 1970s-era ABC network censors). He's a hotshot pilot who likes juggling the ladies.

He's up against a pro. I'd almost feel bad for him, if he didn't have it coming. Really, the man never stood a chance. By the end of the series, he was seriously thinking marriage.

This is another OTP that snuck up on me. I was originally rooting for Starbuck/Athena (in this case, Athena was not a toaster and was instead the very real daughter of Commander Adama and the very real sister of Apollo). However, the actress stunk to high heaven and eventually just wanted to get the hell out of contract to go back to her modeling career. It didn't help that there was better on-screen chemistry between Cassiopea and Starbuck. Plus, Cassiopea was actually kind of cool, or as cool as action-adventure scifi genre shows let women be back at the tail end of the 1970s.

Funny thing: This OTP was not built to last. It came out some years after the show was canceled that the writers had decided to make Cassiopea one of the main characters and to kill the ship. Why? And this is a direct quote: "She was way too good for him." In addition, there were plans to Mary Sue Cassiopea's sometimes snarky asides into Perfect Woman. If you see some of the deleted scenes in the DVD set for the original series, you can see them heading right in this direction by the end of the show's run.

Still, my love for this OTP, my first OTP ever, was built on a simple premise: Man thinks he's God's gift to women. One woman shows him that he's in serious error and keeps bursting his balloon. Feel the love, people!

So, talk dirty to me people.

Your Top 5 OTPs. Any television show. Any genre. Can be canon or completely fanon.

I promise not to laugh. It's not like I've got any room to do that, right?
Tags: fandom: battlestar galactica 1978, fandom: battlestar galactica 2003, fandom: buffy the vampire slayer, fandom: general, fandom: monarch of the glen, fandom: star trek voyager

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