Along the way, I tripped, fell, and skidded headfirst along the pavement. Actually, the right side of my body skidded along the pavement.
Long story, short: the cement was the cheese grater and I was the cheese.
So, lemme see: I crack open the First Aid kit last night and mummify my my right arm in sterile gauze and antibiotic ointment (rest of the body is banged up, but clothes saved me from what could have been the most amazing road rash in my history).
Then I took two Tylenol for the pain, and...
Well, see, the thing about Tylenol, aka acetaminophen, is that it's an anticoagulant.
And the thing about very, very deep cheese grater-y scrapes that pretty much go the length of your right arm is that they bleed like a bastard when they're fresh
Now, what do you think happens boys and girls when you stupidly take a drug that prevents blood from clotting while while your amazingly awful, arm-length road rash is still dripping blood?
Two hours. I had blood pouring out my body for two hours. I had to put pressure on the already painful scrapes. I had to change my dressings before I went to bed or I would bleed all over everything.
And when I woke up? I had to reopen the mess while I changed dressings (again!) because I was sticking to...no, it's too gross to say.
Right now, I would kill for a stake. Raw.
*hates on being competent enough to use a First Aid kit, but stupid enough to take Tylenol before the bleeding slowed down*
Damn it! I write about medicine! I should've known that Tylenol would've made me bleed like a stuck pig!
Some days I think my brain is trying to kill me.
Yes I'm whining.
I want sympathy, damn it!