All previous 'Ask the Character Questions' are listed here.
Question 1 from faith_chaos:
To AU-Faith in Water Hold Me Down (WiP): Do you think you might be happy? And if you don't, why?
Just shitting ya there. Kinda an in-joke from my prison shrink days, y'know?
In all seriousness, though, I got me three squares, roof over my head, clothes, car, all that kind of crap free of charge and I get health, dental, and a paycheck.
Plus, no bars on the doors or the windows. No screws, neither. Not to mention all the shivs around here are made of wood and we only use 'em on vampires.
Forget that whole "Happiness is a warm puppy" bullshit. Real happiness is not worrying about money and bein' able to do what you want, when you want, without anyone givin' you any shit about it. Really, what more d'you need, hunh?
Is it perfect? Oh heeeeeeellllll, no.
'Course, the way I see it, ain't nothing that's perfect. Seems to me that no matter how much of a good thing you got, there's always some shit that's going to drive you nuts.
Take that other me in that other dimension that Junior's from. She may act like she scored the winning Mass Millions ticket, but I guaran-fucking-tee you that she's got her own shit to deal with. She's living under the same roof as B. I mean, it's bad enough dealing with B's ghost. But flesh-and-blood B?
I don't care what Junior says. I'm thinkin' it's gonna blow to shit in a classic case of mutual murder, know what I'm saying?
And between you and me, I ain't buying that Junior's all fuckin' hands off other me's sweet ass. When he was with me, he dove in no questions asked. I mean, I'm just sayin', right? Actions speak and bullshit walks, and all that crap.
Not saying it's a chore or nothin' to screw Junior until the eyes go tilt, but I can see how it might get old if Junior gets to thinking they should be exclusive. Betchya 10-to-1 there's already been a few rounds on that right there. When that little "arrangement" blows up — and you know it will — then let's see how happy she is with her "Watcher"-turned-fuck-buddy, hunh?
Anyway, whatever crap other me has to deal with, I'm pretty sure it's bigger than the crap I gotta deal with, 'cause, y'know, B. With the addition of the good version of the Wickedest Bitch of the West, Rosenberg.
Like, take Rupert, right? And I'm talkin' about my Rupert, not Junior's Rupert.
He. Never. Fucking. Listens.
I tell him that the recruiters for the Council are using high-pressure sales tactics, he palms me off on someone who kisses his ass. I tell him that we need more firepower in Cleveland, he sends me to someone in personnel so I can participate in some bullshit man-power study.
I live on top of a fucking Hellmouth. You would think that Rupes, of all people, would at least know what that meant, right? You'd think he'd take me at my word or something that the Council House in Cleveland could stand to have more permanent residents instead of this whole "people passing through and sticking around for 6 months" crap that I'm stuck with.
Shit. I can't even remember the last time I took a vacay.
The only reason why Rupert's taking this shit with Junior seriously is because some nothin' witch in England kicked his ass, and because the Wicked Whacko Witch started getting crazier than usual. Think he'd be takin' it all seriously if I told him we had a situation? Fuck, no.
In any case, I've gone from being happy he's bothered getting off his ass and actually going into the field to bein' sorry he's here. Christ, I'm >>this close<< to kicking Rupes back to Merry Ol' England, because it's all gotta be his way or the highway all around. That shit is not helping. Way to remind me why I didn't follow his sorry ass back to London. Asshole.
So, anyways, where was I?
Happiness. That's right.
Sure, I'm happy. I got nothin' to worry about, aside from the usual Slay stuff that comes with the Cleveland Hellmouth. And I don't gotta worry about no Watcher dogging my steps every time I turn around.
I just gotta worry about me, myself, and I. Some old, same old, y'know? Only now, I got an actual bank account with some cash.
All I need is a little time off, and I can start spending some of it.
What? Ain't like I'm gonna save it for retirement, right?
I should live that long.