liz_marcs (liz_marcs) wrote,

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Someone Clear This Up for Me... (BtVS Comic Book Spoilers)

I've been dying to ask this now since the BtVS comics spoilers about Twilight have come out, and now that they have, I'm asking...

Before certain BtVS 'shippers RAGE and cancel their subscripions, and other BtVS 'shippers get too happy about the sparkly flying sex I keep hearing so much about...

Maybe it's my equal dislike for both Buffy/Angel and Buffy/Spike (Amazing! I'm someone who dislikes both vampire 'ships equally but for very different reasons. And I'm not even a Buffy/Anyone 'shipper!) talking but:

It seems to me that if Souled!Angel is Twilight, then Souled!Angel is responsible for a lot of people being dead, including Slayers because of...why?

Did Angel forget how to use his cell phone again?

Or, you know, if he didn't know Buffy's cell number, he could've sent a letter. Hell, if a letter was too much effort, how about post card! A post card isn't that hard!

Okay, maybe you're afraid the phone call/letter/post card will be intercepted. Or maybe you've had both your hands hacked off and you can't dial or write.

That's when you walk up to the massive castle and knock on the fucking door! Sure, maybe you're knocking on the door with bloody stumps where your hands should be, but it seems to me that this isn't that hard!

I mean, Angel knew where Buffy lived. And he knew where to find her! He obviously knew, seeing as he attacked her headquarters in both Scotland and Thailand while, I feel constrained to repeat, killing multiple people each time.

And, to judge by all the sparkly flying sex I keep hearing about in the latest issue, Angel could've showed up as just Angel and Buffy would've at least listened to what he had to say, right? It's not like she was going to drop kick him into the ocean.

Furthermore, considering that Twilight/Souled!Angel has killed an awful lot of people to accomplish something that he could've accomplished without killing anyone, doesn't anyone think that Buffy jumping right on Angel's sparkly peen makes her look really, really, really bad?

And before any B/A shippers haul off and hit me one, try this thought experiment:

If Twilight were really Spike, Andrew, Giles, Xander, Oz, Riley, or the Third-Male-Spear-Carrier-From-The-Left, what would your reaction be?

What would it really be?

Judging by the number of people who were hoping like hell that it was some form of Xander (Future!Xander was a favorite hope) so that everyone would see his "true colors", I'm going to bet that an awful lot of those people willing to forgive and forget all the bad shit Twilight did for no reason at all because the dude under the mask is Angel would be singing that they knew all along that {Fill in Male Character Here} was evil all along.

So, in short:

Spuffy fans, I hope you realize that at the end of the day the comic book made Angel look like a massively evil douchenozzle. This means that your boy still has a shot in the long run, assuming Spike doesn't do something as massively douchey as Angel has pulled.

Bangle fans, I hope you realize that your celebration might be just a *tad* premature, although not for the reasons you think. (See my words to the Spuffy fans.)

I mean, the comics just basically destroyed Angel's characterization (unless there's a gotchya here) — which is annoying because I like Angel as a character. (I just don't like Angel and Buffy together.)

As for Buffy...oi!

No matter what she's going to come out of this a victim or the bad guy or a thoughtless idiot, possibly all three. No matter what, I'm more than just annoyed. I'm disturbed. I'm rather sick of the titular character being constantly victimized by this kind of writing. There's a way to give Buffy her drama-troubles while still keeping her competent and well-meaning. Like, you know, Catch-.22 choices or just making mistakes or even making a bad choice but for completely understandable reasons (and no, I don't consider, "Because we were meant to be together forever!" a terribly understandable reason at this point, especially considering Buffy's experiences to date).

Why do I have an awful feeling that the comics are going to go with "the glow made them do it" aka Magic!Crack Part II: Electric Boogaloo?

If they go that route, I think we'll all be able to say that Joss has brought recycling to the Final Frontier.

So, in short, it seems to me that given who Twilight is, he could've accomplished the exact same goal without killing lots and lots of people (Slayers, soldiers, Oz's wife...) by not wearing a mask and instead going with his real face.

Oh, yeah. Twilight and the Dude Under the Mask is a Douchenozzle, indeed.

Bah! I don't know why I'm even shocked by the crack-tastically crappy writing associated with BtVS any more.

*throws up hands*

Have I mentioned that I'm really, really happy that I don't buy the comic books? I've read them, but I don't buy them.

Pee. Ess. — No, I haven't read this issue yet, but based on the various LJ-based reactions, I'm kind of with some of the Spuffies on this: a certain segment of fandom just got hit with a very, very mean-spirited issue of the comic.

Although, I admit, I might change my mind if comics put a bullet in the brain of all ships, including the new on-going one in the comics (especially the new on-going one).

Because, honestly? I will bake Buffy and her creator a million cookies if in the end Buffy was single and too busy being awesome to bother with any romance at all.

Oh, and give Xander and Giles their own focused issues (I've long given up on either one of them getting anything resembling a story arc or character development) where they're not the butt-monkeys or assholes, you punks.

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